The Pain of the Ascension

I'd often wondered why the Ascension was always celebrated as a feast with so much joy on the part of the Church.  I mean, I understand that it is a victory and the crowning act of the Redemption with the promise for all of us, but it and the Assumption, have always left me feeling sorrowful.  Again I found the confirmation of what I was feeling in the Volumes and that I wasn't alone in this sorrow.

The pain of the Apostles when they saw Jesus ascend into Heaven. The good which this pain produced. Lesson to Luisa about the pain of the privation of Jesus.

 

I was thinking of when my sweet Jesus went back to Heaven in His glorious Ascension, and therefore of the sorrow of the Apostles in remaining without such a great good; and my sweet Jesus, moving in my interior, told me: 

           “My daughter, the greatest sorrow for all of the Apostles, in their entire lives, was to remain without their Master. As they saw Me ascend to Heaven, their hearts were consumed with the pain of my privation; and much more was this pain sharp and penetrating, since it was not a human pain, something material that they were losing – but a divine pain: it was a God that they were losing. And even though I had my Humanity, as It resurrected, It was spiritualized and glorified, therefore all the pain was in their souls; and penetrating their whole beings, it caused them to feel all consumed with grief, to the point of forming in them the most harrowing and painful martyrdom. But all this was necessary for them. It can be said that until that moment, they were nothing but tender babies in virtues and in the knowledge of divine things, and of my very person. I could say that I was in their midst but they did not really know Me, nor love Me. But when they saw Me ascend into Heaven, the pain of losing Me tore the veil, and they recognized Me with such certainty as the true Son of God, that the intense sorrow of no longer seeing Me in their midst gave birth to firmness in good and strength to suffer anything for love of the One whom they had lost. It gave birth to the light of divine science; it removed from them the swaddling clothes of their infancy, and it formed them as intrepid men - no longer fearful, but courageous. The pain transformed them and formed in them the true character of Apostles. What they could not obtain with my presence, they obtained with the pain of my privation.

           Now, my daughter, a little lesson for you. Your life can be called a continuous pain of losing Me and a continuous joy of acquiring Me. But between the pain of the loss and the joy of acquiring Me, how many surprises have I not given you? How many things have I not told you? It was pain and the painful martyrdom of losing Me that prepared you and disposed you to hear the sublime lessons on my Will. In fact, how many times it seemed to you that you had lost Me, and while you were immersed in your harrowing pain, I would come back to you with one of the most beautiful lessons on my Will, and I would make the new joy of acquiring Me come back, to dispose you once again to the piercing pain of my absence? I can say that the pain of remaining without Me has given birth in you to the effects, the value, the knowledges, the foundation of my Will. It was necessary that I conduct Myself with you in this way – that is, coming to you very often, and leaving you prey to the pain of being without Me. Since I had established that I would manifest to you, in a way all special, many things about my Will, I had to leave you prey to a continuous divine pain, because my Will is Divine, and only upon a divine pain could It establish Its throne and lay Its dominion; and assuming the attitude of teacher, It communicated the knowledge of my Will, as much as it is possible for a creature. Many will marvel in hearing of the continuous visits I made to you – which I have not done with others – and of your continuous pain of my privation. Had you not seen Me so many times, you would not have known Me nor loved Me so much, because each one of my visits brings an additional knowledge of Me and a new love; and the more the soul knows Me and loves Me, the more her pain is redoubled. And I, in coming, kept provoking your pain more intensely, because I want my Will not to lack the noble cortege of pain, which constitutes the soul firm and strong, so that my Will may form my stable dwelling in her, and give her new and continuous lessons on my Will. Therefore, I repeat to you – let Me do, and trust Me.”

Vol. 16 May 29, 1924



The sorrow of the privation of Jesus for the Apostles is what truly transformed them into Apostles and gave them the graces needed for their mission to sow the Kingdom of the Redemption on the earth.  So what appears as sorrows to the creature is how God prepares the ground for his work and the deeper he plows the greater the work and harvest.

Oh! how beautiful it is to see this field of the soul all covered with many drops of light, and as they gradually grow, many suns will form. This sight is enchanting; all Heaven is enraptured at the sight of it, and they are all attentive on looking at the Celestial Farmer who cultivates this field with such great mastery, and who possesses a seed so noble as to convert it into sun. Now, my daughter, this field is mine and I do with it whatever I want. Once these suns have formed, I collect them and take them to Heaven, as the most beautiful conquest of my Will, and then I return to the work of my field. So, I put everything upside down, and the little daughter of my Will feels everything ending, everything dying within her. In the place of the suns, so refulgent with light, she sees the drops of light which I am sowing, and she thinks that everything is perishing. How you deceive yourself - this is the new harvest that must be prepared; and since I want to make it more beautiful than the previous one, and make it larger so as to be able to double my harvest, at first sight the work seems to be more difficult, and the soul suffers more. But those pains are like strokes of the hoe into the ground, which make the seed sink deeper down so as to make it germinate more safely, with greater fecundity and beauty. Don’t you see, when a field is harvested, how squalid and poor it remains? But wait until it is sown again, and you will see it more flowery than before. Therefore, let me do; and you, by living in my Will, will always be at work with Me; we will sow the little drops of light together, and we will compete to see who sows more. So, we will amuse ourselves, now in sowing, now in resting – but always together. I know, I know what your strongest concern is – that I might leave you. No, no, I do not leave you; one who lives in my Will is inseparable from Me.”

Vol. 16, Oct. 20, 1923

 

 

Now I know all of this does not change the sorrow or the dryness that we feel at the time but I find for me it does help by giving the hope that allows faith to see beyond the present pain to the promised good, plus I get the reassurance that it's part of God's plan and not necessarily my fault.